You foolish Galatians!

Oh how foolish i am!
When I first believed things were so much clearer to me. The Spirit was my guide, and I hardly knew anything of the law... and now the law traps me. How does someone separate themselves from the expectations of what "christianity" is supposed to look like. Maybe the problem is that i am giving my attention to the expectations of the world for what a Christian should be and not paying attention to the Spirit, who lives in me.
Reading in Galatians today, Paul says that if we could be saved by the law then Jesus's death and resurrection were of no value. I know this is old news to many people, but i struggle with understanding and accepting God's grace and my own justification apart from the law. When Paul said this it hit me that in my own mind, and with that my heart I had begun to believe in lies... not the true Gospel (which is exactly what the Galatians were being rebuked for). I had begun to think (never expressing aloud) that maybe God would accept people on the basis of them simply being really good (cuz let's be honest there are some really awesome people out there, who don't belive in saving Grace). But clearly this idea is heretical.
I'm not down playing good works, because we know faith without action is dead. But i think that when my heart is not doing it out of joy and obedience because i have the Spirit living in me, but simply out of duty to earn salvation it is no longer faith in action, it is no longer true worship...it is me...caring only about me... and what i can get...and what i deserve.
So here i am ... yet again i am humbled, again im learning that my faith is so small...but i pray for more ...even if it is only the size of a mustard seed, because i want to be free...free from the law and free to see mountains move!