i need to go to bed

it's late and technically the start of mothers day. Just so you know i'm a terrible daughter who has not bought a gift for my mother yet.YIKES!!!!!!
I think these last 3 weeks have really been crazy and im in giant need to prioritize. I need to learn to be a better daughter and sister. I wonder if any one has any tips?
Just so everyone knows ...God has blessed me with the most fantasic mother. Peace seeking, gentle, servant heart... i would say she is practically what God intended a mother to be. Do i have something to live up to or what?
I pray for my mom today that she may learn to love God with all her heart soul mind and strength and experience God's peace.
Went to a seminar on hurting kids. This world is a really messed up place and i don't know how people get through all this stuff without acknowledging Jesus as saviour. I'd be lost.
i want to be used my God to have a powerful ministry to brokenhearted kids. I learned that i will never be adequate... and that is where God will use me best. His strength is made perfect in weakness.
On another note... i went to a bollywood party tonight... fantastic indian food i'd say and wonderful company. I smoked a cigar...my first time...and... probably my last.

....and im back .

ive decided to make an effort and try to get back into blogging. I'm not much of a writer, more of a talker i'd say. Oh well, the idea of a blog seems nice and since im in a contemplative mood i'll run with it .
This year of nothingness seems to be coming to a close. It takes someone with a lot of faith to come out af a year like this feeling refreshed and renewed in the Lord, needless to say I have little faith. Don't get me wrong, I love God and desire to know him more and more... but this year proved to me that i do not trust him in the little things. I feel like my realtionship with him has become shallow and the depth i thought i once had was based on surroundings. I desire to be like Job and rejoice in suffering... and praise God when times are dry.